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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947300">A small infinity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaritaWinter/pseuds/ClaritaWinter'>ClaritaWinter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Angst, Ass to Mouth, Creampie, F E E L S, Face-Fucking, Heidegger and Sartre would have a field day with this movie, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Joe and Booker angst, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Sex, Post-Canon, Romantic sex because duh, Soft Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Soft Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:48:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaritaWinter/pseuds/ClaritaWinter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“I don’t wanna talk about that son of a bitch when I have a handful of your beautiful ass on my lap, <i>hayati”</i>. Joe said, giving Nicky’s ass a light squeeze and a slap.</p>
  <p>Nicky chuckled and moaned slightly. “I never said we needed to talk about him”.</p>
</blockquote>Or, Joe and Nicky make love after the events of the movie, and think about immortality, loss and love.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>284</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A small infinity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here I am, with the thousandth aftermath fic that no one has asked for but I just had to try my hand at, lol. Beyond special thanks to my beta <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/dana_norram/pseuds/dana_norram">Dana</a> for her suggestions, advices, and incredible support. Thanks for encouraging me to write this. </p><p>Well, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joe’s body felt heavy as he trudged up the stairs to the main bedroom in his and Nicky’s old house in St John's Wood. He was so tired that he felt like he could sleep for an entire year. So much happened in the past few days.</p><p>
  <i>Nile's arrival. Their subsequent capture and torture. Andy’s mortality. Nicky’s brains splattered on that laboratory floor. Booker’s exile.</i>
</p><p>Booker's <i>betrayal.</i></p><p>Joe felt a curling anger rise hotly and swiftly in his gut. He quickly pushed that memory away and set his mind to prepare a bath for himself and Nicky, needing to have a quiet, peaceful moment with his beloved in his arms.</p><p>As the water filled the bathtub, Joe took off his shoes and jacket and threw them on the floor. He overheard Nicky’s footsteps approaching and noticed it stop at the doorway. Joe turned around and saw him leaning against the doorframe, his 900 year old stare fixed on him; studying him. Nicky had this look that told Joe he knew exactly what he was thinking and that he wanted to ask him if he would like to talk about it. Nicky could read and understand people like no one else; his empathy overflowed from his every pore and guided his every act, enabling him to see right at your core. That ability worked tenfold when it came to Yusuf.</p><p>Nicolò walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck, giving him the one thing he needed the most right now: himself. Joe revolved his love in his arms and pressed him strongly against his body, holding him tight. He hoped he wasn’t crushing Nicky too fiercely; he didn’t want him to have to bear any kind of pain or discomfort, no matter how small. Not after everything.</p><p>They stood in the middle of their small suite, basking in each other’s warm embrace. Joe squeezed Nicky even harder, arms wrapped around his lean waist, needing to feel that Nicky was there, that he was fine, and that he was right where he belonged.</p><p>This was their first real moment together since their escape from Merrick’s and hopefully, it would mark the end of the nightmare that man had put them through. Prior to this, they had only had one brief moment to themselves while they washed off the blood off each other’s bodies. Hands that efficiently tended to each other, slid over every small patch of skin and checked with firm touches to make sure there was no bruise or hurt left behind, that they were still whole and together; but even then, it was rushed and practical, the shadow of the decision they would have to make as a team lingered over every motion.</p><p>Now, it was just the two of them. The two of them and time. Time to figure it out where they are going from here. Many changes have happened, and Joe knew they would need to adapt and deal with those uncertainties, but for now, he only wanted to think about Nicky. The one constant in his life. The one certainty.</p><p>“Let’s get in the bathtub before the water gets cold, love,” Nicky whispered softly in Ligurian. He unbuckled Joe’s pants with diligent hands and helped him out of his shirt. His hands wandered over Joe’s broad chest, fingers gliding through his chest hair, feeling the same need to touch and care as Joe did.</p><p>They climbed into the tub and proceeded to take their bath, the warm bath water relaxing Joe’s corded muscles, with the pleasant scent of the sandalwood oil - Nicky’s favorite - spreading through his body. A couple of years back, they had renovated the bathroom and bought a tub big enough for two grown men to comfortably enjoy themselves, but even with all the room Nicky was straddling Joe’s lap, his thick thighs and firm ass a solid weight on top of him, bracketing his hips.</p><p>Nicky’s hands threaded through his curls, gently massaging Joe’s scalp while he scooped some water to let it drop down Nicky’s face, just so he could listen to the other man’s giggling. Nicky was generally a person of small smiles and Joe was the only one privy to his exuberant laugh and adorable giggles.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Nicky asked in a quiet voice, assessing Joe’s every micro expression. He did not want to force him to speak, but he was letting him know he’s ready to listen to when Joe is.</p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about that son of a bitch when I have a handful of your beautiful ass on my lap, <i>hayati”</i>. Joe said, giving Nicky’s ass a light squeeze and a slap.</p><p>Nicky chuckled and moaned slightly. “I never said we needed to talk about him”.</p><p>Him and son of a bitch being, of course, Booker. Joe was incredibly loyal and protective of his family. He could safely say that he would die permanently for each one of them, if it meant it would keep them safe. He trusted and cherished them with all his heart, and he would do everything in his power to take care of them all. That’s why he couldn’t fathom how the man that he had looked after and treated as his brother for the past 200 years, could lie, deceit and hand them over for torture. As if all the nights Joe had spent talking, sharing drinks and landing his shoulder for Booker to cry on, hadn't mattered.</p><p>And there was still the thought that he could’ve lost Nicky, which immediately induced a cold feeling to seep into his bones.</p><p>“Are you alright, my love?” Nicky inquired softly, worried about Joe’s emotional state and wanting to reach out to him. Nicky, who was also tortured and had to deal with Andy’s current predicament and Booker’s betrayal just like Joe, and additionally, also had a gun shoved into his mouth and was killed in the most gruesome manner. But here he was, focused on taking care of him; putting Joe first.</p><p>“How can you be so calm with all of this? How can you be so accepting of what he did? Twenty years, Nicky? <i>Really?</i>” Joe blurted it out in a heap of emotions.</p><p>Well, so much for not wanting to talk about the son of a bitch.</p><p>Nicky cradled his face in his hands and gave him a melancholic smile. “You know why I did it, Yusuf. I did it for Andy.” He lets out a sigh. “I want her to still be around and see her family together, to know that we will always have each other’s backs, no matter what.”</p><p>Of course Nicky would’ve thought about that. Nicky’s every decision is always with everyone’s well-being in mind. Even of the traitor who jeopardized their safety, their family, their future.</p><p>“And I know,” Nicky said as he smoothed his fingers through his beard “...that you’re already worried about him. I know you miss him”.</p><p>Joe huffed out a humourless laugh. “Worried about him? He was going to let us spend the rest of our lives as lab rats, almost got Andy killed, he almost got you -” Joe choked up on that last word. He couldn’t say it. It was too soon.</p><p>“Baby,” Nicky said and hugged him tightly, Joe’s face pressed to the wet curve of his neck, as if telling him “I’m here. I’m with you and I’m here”.</p><p>The truth was that the images of that man killing Nicky in such an invasive way and his still body and lifeless eyes splayed on that floor, kept replaying in Joe’s mind in a loop. Those twenty seconds without Nicky, right after having found out about Andy’s mortality, was the most terrified he had felt in a long time. And he wouldn’t have to experience that if it wasn’t for Booker.</p><p>“You have all the right in the world to be angry at him. I am too, although I’m more disappointed than anything else. But I understand his pain and desperation, Yusuf. It’s a dangerous combination that does no good to no man”.</p><p>“Do not make excuses for him, Nicolò,” Joe had fallen into Arabic, as he often did when his patience was wearing thin. “Sob stories don’t justify reprimandable deeds”.</p><p>“I didn’t say that. He did choose to betray us and therefore he deserved his punishment. But he was withering away right before our eyes, Yusuf, and now he's alone and that worries me. We could’ve, we could -” it was Nicky’s turn to choke up, his eyes filling with tears. In that moment, Joe wanted to kill Booker more than ever.</p><p>“My heart, no,” he said as he pressed their foreheads together “Don’t blame yourself for this, we did everything we could, you said it yourself, he chose to do this, he made his immortality a curse”. Though Booker’s <i>‘What do you know of all of these years alone’ </i>resonated in his mind along with hundredth of others ‘what if’s’ that haunted his dreams.</p><p>“Then stop punishing yourself as well.” Nicky said with a gentle voice. “I know that as angry as you are with Booker, you’re angrier at yourself. You two are like brothers, and part of you thinks you failed him, but you’re right, love, we didn’t - <i>you</i> didn’t. Please, don’t hold on to it.”</p><p>Joe knew Nicky was right, of course. Blaming Booker as an egotistical prick was easier than facing the reality that he was a desperate, miserable man who felt incredibly alone despite having a family around him. Still, Joe did feel like he could’ve done more for him. Maybe he should’ve.</p><p>But at the end of the day, there’s only so far one can go.</p><p>Joe sighed in the curve of Nicky’s neck. “Sometimes it's like you know me better than I know myself”.</p><p>Nicky laughed quietly and pulled back to look at him, hands caressing his face. “As if you didn’t do the same with me”.</p><p>Joe spread Nicky’s ass and rubbed his tight hole in smooth circles with the tip of his soapy finger, making the small ring of muscles twitch and yearn to have something to slip inside.</p><p>“Did this conversation put you in a ‘randy’ mood, Yusuf?” Nicky teased and bit his lower lip.</p><p>“I’ve been in a ‘randy’ mood ever since we arrived. You know how much I need to be inside you after a mission”. Joe said as he slipped a finger inside Nicky’s welcoming and familiar heat. Joe saw something pass behind Nicky’s eyes, and he knew his love was thinking about that time in São Paulo in 1834. Until this day, Joe recognizes it was one of his best performances.</p><p>“What are we still doing here, then?” Nicky leaned in and whispered in his ear. Joe’s cock thickened at his words and he didn’t need to be told twice.</p><p>They climbed out of the bathtub, hands clinging to each other, Joe’s arms wrapped around Nicky’s waist from behind, nipping and licking at his earlobe, as Nicky guided them to the bedroom. </p><p>Joe laid him out on the soft cotton sheets of their king-sized bed, bodies still wet from the bath and clinging to one another. Nicky’s legs spread and Joe’s slightly lubed fingers worked him open in a way that spoke of a millennia and countless nights of making love, one hand at Nicky’s waist, digging into soft flesh while he rocked back into Joe’s fingers.</p><p>Being inside Nicky was akin to a religious experience in Joe’s opinion; his tight, accommodating body moulding around him, engulfing his cock like a hot furnace, and his moans were the most beautiful melody Joe has ever heard. As he watched Nicky lose himself in pleasure, Joe thanked every possible deity known to men, for having Nicky in his life. The man who was both his slayer and saviour. Joe didn’t like to think where he would be without Nicky. Would he have become like Booker, lost and numb? No, no, he really didn’t want to have those kinds of thoughts right now.</p><p>As Joe entered him, Nicky threw his head back, exposing the pale line of his neck and raked his nails down Joe’s back, hole squeezing his cock and drawing him deeper. Joe licked a line down his neck to his hypnotic collarbones; kissing, biting and sucking every inch of skin available and then tracing his way back up. Joe might not be able to leave permanent marks on Nicky’s body for now, but that didn’t mean he would ever stop trying.</p><p>Nicky let out a loud moan at a particular powerful thrust of Joe’s hips, arching his back and squeezing him tighter between his thighs, encouraging him to fuck him deeper and harder. It was Joe’s pleasure to obey.</p><p>Joe leaned back on the bed and threw Nicky’s legs over his shoulders, changing the angle to hit his sweet spot and setting a faster pace. Nicky’s toes curled and he kept chanting ‘fuck me’ and ‘yes, please’ in an amalgam of all the languages that he knew. Nothing brought more joy to Yusuf Al-Kaysani than to watch Nicolò Di Genova writhe and beg under him.</p><p>But Joe couldn’t stay away for long. He needed to have every part of his body touching Nicky’s and the feeling was mutual, given that Nicky pulled him on top of him again, taking all of his length with a throaty moan and craving the closeness just as much as Joe did.</p><p>Nicky loved to joke about how intense Joe got after a mission, but so did he. Though they would never say it out loud, they both knew they aren’t immortal. Not really. They’re just really, <i>really</i> hard to kill. So they knew that every mission, every death, every fight, could be their last. Someday, their wounds wouldn’t heal anymore, and their breaths would cease to last. They just didn’t know ‘when’. In the end, they were just like regular people in that regard.</p><p>Their broken moans and harsh breaths filled the room and that little world they created when they were so enthralled in each other. Joe intertwined their fingers over Nicky’s head as he fucked into him, tongues in each other’s mouths, feeling safe and at home in one another. Nicky disentangled their fingers to grab Joe’s neck, dragging him closer, to press Joe’s forehead to his, eyes locked together as if telling him ‘I’m not leaving here without you and you’re not leaving without me’. The idea that Joe one day would wake up and not look into those bright pools was too much for him to bear.  </p><p>And when he remembered that animal killing Nicky in such an intimate way, it made him see red and his blood boil and right then, right now he felt a sudden urge.</p><p>He lifted himself off of Nicky and slowly pulled out of him. Nicky whined and gave him a confused look. “What are you doing? Get back inside me”. He ordered as he panted, but Joe had other plans.</p><p>Joe urged Nicky to rest against the headboard and put a couple of pillows beneath his head. He crawled on top of Nicky’s chest and stroked his cock near his face. “Open”. It was all Joe needed to say for Nicky to open his lips and receive his throbbing cock. Joe entered his mouth slowly until his entire length was enveloped by his beautiful, red, bow-shaped, cock-sucking lips. Years of taking Joe into his mouth has rendered Nicky without a gag reflex, so he merely relaxed his jaw and let Joe fuck his throat like he wanted to, hands on Joe’s ass to urge him faster, deeper, eyes looking up to him, letting Joe know that he wants this just as much as he does. That his mouth and every part of him, belonged to Joe.</p><p>Joe’s hands held Nicky’s head in place as he slid his cock in and out of his sinfully red lips, trying not to cum with the vibrations that Nicky’s moans and whimpers were sending through his cock. He pulled out of his mouth, smearing precum over his swollen, well-used lips. </p><p>“Where do you want it, my heart? Tell me”. Joe asked, stroking his cock inches from his face.</p><p>“Inside me, love, please, I need it”. Nicky croaked out with his battered throat, eyes hazy and lost in pleasure. Joe scrambled to obey and entered him again, grabbing Nicky’s hips and pulling him into his lap, stroking his cock in time with his skilful and strong thrusts. Nicky cried out only Joe’s name as he came, his hole gripping Joe’s cock like a vise and making him follow right after. As Joe filled Nicky, he could only think about how if he were to choose a way to die, it would be like this.</p><p>They stayed like that for a while, breathing each other in, connected and immersed. Neither could tell where one began and the other ended. They didn’t want to.</p><p>After some time, Joe withdrew himself out of Nicky, who gave a slight whimper at the loss. Joe picked up a wet towel and cleaned Nicky’s stomach but not his hole or the inside of his thighs, wanting Nicky to sleep with his essence inside him.</p><p>Joe laid Nicky’s head on his chest and pulled the covers over them, the post-sex haze already creeping in.</p><p>“I think we should take a proper bath this time... actually, maybe a shower would be safer,” Nicky said, mouth muffled against Joe’s chest. Joe chuckled and caressed the nape of his neck.</p><p>“I don’t see what difference that would make, my heart”. Joe said with a laugh, remembering countless unfinished showers that ended with Nicky bent over, hands and chest braced against the wall, begging for Joe’s cock. </p><p>Nicky slapped him lightly on the shoulder and hugged Joe’s middle tighter, nuzzling into his chest, ready to doze off. Joe lifted his chin lightly before he could, needing to say the next words aloud.</p><p>“I’m scared, Nicky. Things are changing too fast and I don’t like it”. Joe remembered how Nicky and him thought themselves invincible until they met Andy and Quynh, when they told them about Lykon. About how ‘forever’ doesn’t really exist and their immortality is just as unpredictable as death. Joe thought he had come to terms with the act of dying, and he believed he had, really. It was the thought of being apart from Nicky that paralysed him.</p><p>Nicky looked into his eyes and spoke with all the certainty and wisdom of the age he had. “We’ll not be separated, ever. We were destined to find each other in that cursed battlefield and to grow old together in Malta. We’ll say our goodbyes at the same time, Yusuf”.</p><p>“You don’t know that, Nicolò”. Joe said wearily.</p><p>“I do know it.” He said in such an unquestionable way, that Joe believed him. Joe wished he had Nicky’s spiritual strength. He didn’t need to understand things to accept them. He knew there were things out of his control and higher than him and that was fine. Joe, on the other hand, considered himself more of a realist. He believed in art, history, science, culture, and people. He’s seen and done too much, to still have that level of trust in the unknown.</p><p>"We still have a small infinity together, love". Nicky said tenderly, looking at Joe as if he was his entire universe. </p><p>“You really are the moon when I’m lost in darkness, my heart,” Joe said, as in awe and in love with Nicky as he’s been for the last millennia.</p><p>“And you’re the sun that keeps me warm,”. Nicky said as he smiled at him radiantly.The smile that Joe has written about and drew more times than he could remember, and would continue to do so, until the end of his days. The smile that he needed to see everyday and feel against his face, to feel complete. Joe knew that this was Nicky telling him that they both kept each other functional and grounded. They both kept each other <i>living.</i> </p><p>Joe also has wondered how Nicky would have been if they had never met. Or how he would handle it if Joe left and he had to stay behind.</p><p>As they beamed at one another, secure in the safe haven of each other’s embrace, all doubts vanished. </p><p>Good thing that they won’t ever have to find out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, well, well. </p><p>Yes, the title is insipired by that famous "the fault in our stars" quote. Don't judge me, ok? </p><p>I really hope you've enjoyed this, this was my first canon fic so I was really concerned about getting the tone, characterization and mood, right. If anything, I hope you were all at least pleased by the porn lol. </p><p>All work and no comments makes this writer a dull girl heheheh</p><p>But, really, kudos and comments are always welcome!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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